|
Did you know that three out of four men have no clue when you are flirting with them? This stunning bit of research comes from social scientist Richard Bandler and should be of great interest to all you hair twisting, lip licking females out there. Simply put, a few provocative gestures are not enough to get an interested guy off his keister and into your personal space. So what’s a girl to do?
Well, if she’s not ready to approach him herself, there is another option. Since men fear rejection from a woman, more than from any other living, breathing entity on this planet, you must lay out a welcome mat, so large and so inviting, he can’t help but want to sink his toes into it. Remember, you can always do nothing and chances are someone will walk over—but will it be the one who rings your chimes? Glib and obnoxious males, the kind who maneuver through scores of women each night, don’t need a signal from you. But an appealing,smart, discriminating man is likely to double think himself, and, boor that he’s not, will fear encroaching on your space. This sort of man needs a clear sign.
In fact, he needs a lot of clear signs.
According to Dr. Monica Moore, a social scientist from Webster University,
“women who perform more than 35 flirting displays per hour will elicit greater than 4 approaches per hour.”
So if you’re focused on one guy in particular, that would be approximately 8 flirting gestures, aimed directly at him! The key to getting his attention is variety and quantity, according to Dr. Moore, who spent over 2000 hours in malls, bars and parties to determine exactly what it takes to move a guy in your direction.
Moore found that there are 52 distinct, non-verbal gestures, which men recognize as flirting when directed at them.
The number one way a woman can make her interest crystal clear, is to employ several of them, over and over, at her target.
It must register with him, that he is the one who is making you fidgety. These gestures include:
- Short, darting glances, where you fix your eyes on him, look away and look back.
- Primping and preening—smoothing out your skirt, straightening your collar, adjusting your neckline, etc.
- Tilting your head to the side, or pulling up your hair, to expose your neck (a sign of vulnerability).
- Holding his glance for more than a few seconds.
- Running your index finger around the rim of a cup or glass.
- Playing with keys.
- Taking your rings on and off.
- Stroking a part of your body.
- Smiling coyly—or fully, if you can handle it.
- Tossing your hair.
- Aligning your body so it faces, and even mirrors, his stance.
- Playing with strands of your hair.
- Licking your lips.
The trick is to engage in the motions you feel most comfortable with and to repeat them until he gets it. Meanwhile, if another male approaches you, appear friendly and polite; show your target you are not the rejecting type.
And, the best news of all? You don’t have to be the prettiest gal in the room to get your guy. Dr. Moore found that
“men are more receptive to high-flirtation women who are average or even less than average-looking, than they are to women who are more attractive, but who emit fewer signals.” It’s not who’s most appealing, but who’s most inviting. This contradicts the view long-held by evolutionary psychologists—and most females—that women with the most symmetrical features will attract the most men. So, if a few extra pounds have you second-guessing yourself, don’t give up: Make your moves, and the curvaceous ice maiden standing a few feet away is toast.
Statistics also show that you’ll increase your chances of a successful hook-up, if you flirt with men who are on somewhat of the same attractiveness level as you. Studies of couples conducted by the Social Issues Research Center (SIRC) indicate “most successful marriages and long-term relationships are between partners of equally good looks.”
But don’t shoot too low: “Over eighty percent of women have a poor body-image, and underestimate their attractiveness,” according to the SIRC, so they advise that females try flirting with some better-looking men.
So, now you know exactly how to catch his eye and send out that compelling welcome mat. Is it a lock that he’ll walk over? Unfortunately, no. Men are only human, and prone to self-doubt, shyness and other distractions, just as women are.
Is there a way to guarantee you'll connect with a man you’re dying to meet? Sure.
Make that first move yourself!
All you have to do is initiate contact and there are over a hundred proven ways to do it in the new book Grab Your Tiger: How 110 Women Made the First Move to Capture the Men of Their Dreams, available on this website.
Remember all the reasons you don't want to leave your romantic fate in his hands?
1. The good guys tend to second guess themselves.
2. Nice guys don't want to intrude on your space.
3. Three out of four don't get it when women flirt in their usual manner, so they don't know you're interested in them.
4. They feel intimidated by todays' women who are so much more independent and self-sufficient than the females who raised them
—and they freeze.
Try some of the road-tested methods used by the 110 women in Grab Your Tiger, ranging from clever to sweet to outrageous to irresistible to get his attention.
Bottom line: Don’t let another good man get away!
Let the tips at www.grabyourtiger.com and the real-life success stories the pages of Grab Your Tiger inspire you to find the love you crave.
Want a fabulous relationship? You have the power to create it.
: : Attention Media : :
You have permission to reprint or excerpt any article, story, or quiz published on this website when appropriate credit and attribution is published with the article. Please let us know where and when your reprint is published.
: : Credit / Attribution : :
Kathy Schwadel is a relationship coach and the author of several books, including her newest book Grab Your Tiger How 110 Women Made the First Move to Capture the Men of their Dreams. She may be contacted via email at kathy@grabyourtiger.com or through her website, www.grabyourtiger.com.
|
How 110 Women Made the First Move to Capture